Write two sentences that create a particular mood (terror, threat, joy,
gloom, excitement...). Use at least two types of imagery to describe
the weather, thereby setting and reinforcing the mood. Comment on at
least one other post (imagery, language, effects, effectiveness...).
Due by Friday, October 2nd.
I am lying on my bed, folded into my fluffy quilt, my head resting on two pillows, my onwn personal bits of clouds. I turn my head around and look through my window. The sunshine blinds my sleepy eyes for a second. The sky is enwraped in a white puff that shines bright as snow. The beams of light unfold their sleepy arms upon the white candyfloss, granting it their soothing light. As the peaceful atmosphere spreads over the awakening countryside, shafts of light sprinkle over my cover. A stream of calmness swaddles me, rocking me into its cocoon.
ReplyDeleteI find your description very intriguing. Indeed, you use the light which is already a sensory image to create the whole atmosphere of the scene: giving it a shape, a touch that gives peacefulness. This image represents perfectly the awakening, when your mind is still jammed between dream and reality: 'clouds', 'snow', 'candy floss'. I think you also made a great job reusing the lesson about details with the white color associated to the clouds, the snow, the pillows, the candy floss...etc. The reader can easily picture the scene.
DeleteA storm was preparing, he thought as he heard the thunder's black growling not far from him. The air was heavy, warm, and full of electricity. They were not prepared.
ReplyDeleteAround them, a mild, white haze took place, as a fresh and calm drizzle fell lightly on their faces. She wondered how they could be alone in such a breath-taking place.
10 a.m was displayed on the phone and she could feel the light of the young sun crossing the shutters to her skin while, laying side by side, his hand looked for hers. He clenched her cold fingers, making the shudders smoothly stop.
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DeleteI like the fact that here, the sun doesn't necessarily bring warmth. You do talk about the sunlight but not of its warmth, and you don't, in order to emphasize the fact that HE is the one who brings it to her. He clenches her fingers to protect them and give her heat and warmth and he's basically her sun.
DeleteI also like the fact that you brought in temperature because I would never have thought of that. I know we usually associate temperature with color or a particular fabric, but here, you just... said it.
It conveys the impression of a loving couple, a real core : unity and heat, warmth and love, and this, only through 2 sentences : your work really is effective.
Even though it was daytime, there wasn't hardly any light coming from the sky. The gunmetal factories were producing a musty smell as the grey-colored smog reached and enwrapped my little head, leaving a taste of moisture on my tongue. Everybody was coughing: a long and moaning sound that made the baleful atmosphere even heavier on my shoulders.
ReplyDelete"there was hardly any light..." (otherwise you have a double negative)
DeleteGreat job mixing imagery, detail, and word of the day!
The sky was filled with threating clouds; the air was full of electricity. The South wind was bringing hot, heavy raindrops that could be heard on the closed shutters and on the red roofs of the houses around. In the distance, doors were slammed and dogs barked, scared of the coming thunder. Flowers in the fields were forced to bow to the wind, a first ray of light was observed in the darkening horizon. Time froze, breaths stopped. But the sky hadn’t exploded yet, and her heart was as light as the air was heavy.
ReplyDeleteI feel there are many different imageries appealing to our senses in this description. Firstly visual imagery with the ray of light and the bending flowers highlighting the violence and overwhelming power of the storm. The violence of the storm is also illustrated by the auditory imagery of the rain falling, the doors slamming. Indeed these are brutal, aggressive sounds. Moreover this description truly renders the tense atmosphere with adjectives such as "hot" and "heavy" which can be associated with tactile imagery. We get a feeling of threatening desctruction yet at the end of the description we realize there is a paradoxe between what's going on in the outside world and the girl's feelings. I found this quite unexpected and interesting.
DeleteIn the dead of night, the heavy rain poured over her, pelting her already soaked clothes stuck to her shivering body. Her salted tears blended with the icy torrent of rain gushing down her cheeks as she walked aimlessly, her shoes squelching the soggy mud.
ReplyDeleteI find this very effectively conveys the feeling of sadness, maybe even deception. She is drenched in the rain, crying... A bit as though the weather were crying with her. We suddenly feel even more wet because you describe the heavy rain and the tears and the mud. This is lovely.
DeleteI find your images very well set. We can easily picture the scene with the women who seems to have lost ground and is taken away by the icy torrent. Wearing squelching shoes under the rain is a common experience and so using it here is very clever because the picture immediately comes in our heads.
DeleteThe extreme sadness or despair that is evoked here with the darkness, heavy rain, wet clothes is effectively conveyed by the set of sensations you used to illustrate the emotion.
Moreover I find the adjective salted very interesting in the way that the connotation of the sterilizing bitterness of the salt adds to the idea of a broken character.
I find your imagery very touching, I also feel like the sky is crying with the character, sadness and despair are very well conveyed and your imagery makes the reader commiserate with the girl. This is beautiful.
DeleteThat’s it, it was over. The growling storm had made the shutters slam the walls and drum on the windows but it had finally faded away, and there were no clouds drifting through the whispering wind. He could feel the pulse under his goosebumped skin slowing down and the air was pouring freely into his loosened throat. His apprehension had gone away with the tempest and he was so relieved that he collapsed on the soft sofa, his muscles unable to bear his weight anymore.
ReplyDeleteIt is really interesting to see the way you managed to convey the feeling of appeasement of your character. Indeed, we can distinguish two parts in your description. You have started describing the weather that has caused the oppression of the man, using the auditory imagery of the “shutters [slamming] the wall”. For anybody reading this description, it is easy to recall a night of heavy rain and its sound produced on “the windows” and the one of the “whispering wind”. The very well chosen combination of words allows the reader to hear the sound of it thanks the assonance in [w] and in [i]. The fact that you have depicted the weather reinforcing the opposed mood to the one the character, helps the reader to understand better his softening.
DeleteA mid-July afternoon, while walking between the stone houses, the entire world around her seemed to be frozen; not a lizard sidling between the stones, not even a cloud to enliven the sky; nothing, nothing but the leaves of the old almond tree being rocked by the dust-laden wind. As she always did when going down the steps to the church she brushed the filthy sweating wall and suddenly felt like she couldn’t do it.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like in your description is the atmosphere you manage to create around your character. Indeed, we can picture her alone, invisible to the people. She seems to be the only thing able to evolve in this "frozen" and maybe abandoned landscape. The way you emphasize her lonelinesse with the repetition of the word "nothing". I think the use of the tactile imagery as she "brushed the filthy sweating wall" makes your whole story even more realistic. In fact, it does not embellish a place which could seem imaginary but fix it in a feasible reality.
DeleteHot, glistening sweat drops trickled down his golden neck. The sepia sand burned the soles of his feet, dark eyes gazed at the bright, burning light in the sky. Running on the tip of his toes, he plunged in the azure sea, allowing himself to be consumed by the cool waves of the ocean. The waves splashed around him, children laughed with joy by their sandcastles.
ReplyDeleteThe summer blue took over the sky, the bright, burning sun became smaller, and everything around him smelled like the soothing breeze of blue.
I really like the way you managed to express a feeling of peace and serenity by the imagery related to the summer and the sea - however I feel that there is also this idea of oppressiveness, with the sun and sand being described as 'burning', and the waves consuming him. But by the end of it we can find this sense of serenity once again, with the sun becoming smaller, less important and being taken over by the blue of the sky.
DeleteWhen I read the first line of this description I thought that it would describe a negative feeling. I see this in the words burning and dark eyes. They give me the impression that at first the narrator does not fit in to the harmonious landscape. However he is rapidly filled with the surrounding summer joy. I really like the end of the description which reminds me of the happy, soothing summer setting. Everything seems to be idealised and perfect to the extent that even the narrator fits in.
DeleteThis was one of those times when quiet had stopped being just quiet.
ReplyDeleteA weeping willow like a long-haired friend leaning over me.
I was surrounded by the nature and its green peacefulness. I could smell peppermint, I heard emerald. I could feel moss green underneath my buttocks, I tasted olive green.
A dirty pond here, weeds over there, my friend's green leaves so clear, grass everywhere.
I breathed in, I breathed out : I felt the quietness running through my veins. As I fell asleep, green was brightening the darkness behind my shut eyes.
This was one of those times when quiet had stopped being just quiet. This was one of those times when it became so much more, much more mighty. This was one of those times when quietness had acquired a color, a smell, a taste, a sensation, a sound, a shape... A life. Yes, that definitely was one of those times.
Sun's touch on my skin was warm and soft. It was one of friendly hands on my cheeks. The floating ocean I was admiring took all my sorrowful thoughts away. The cream fishes in it inspired me joyful animals and quietness. The smell of the freshly cut grass invaded me as silence seemed to rock the whole world. Time stopped and its flavour increased tenfold.
ReplyDeleteBut heavy cold drops woke me up. They were falling from the dark rotten roof that was enclosing the earth on that day. I was subdued by the sombre vision in front of me: dark wintergreen pines were being whipped by the uncontrolled clouds that had suddenly decided to spit all their hatred on the world. I had to go.
The sun was sinking slowly behind the brilliant glden waves, as smooth as satin. The warm, late evening breeze was flecked with sea-salt and honey-suckle coming from a sprawling vine nearby.
ReplyDeleteWe can really hear the sound of the waves and be almost blinded by the hot glittering of the sun. I feel like we even have a third type of imagery with the "breeze" on our skins and "satin" . You used details to enrich the reader's vision of this landscape such as "golden", "flecked". Finally, olfactive senses are as well appealed. In only two sentences, the reader can really imagine him/herself in this landscape and feel all the sensations the speaker was feeling too.
DeleteI was day-dreaming as I did my usual walk home from class, cornering around the candy-cane pillars and jumping out of the way of the monstrous vehicle heading my way. It shook me awake and I ran to the pavement and jogged the whole way home, past the towering city buildings and along the narrow path which was a shortcut to my apartment, feeling like Dorothy on her yellow brick road.
ReplyDeleteHe was facing the valley, standing in the middle of a green sparkling stretch, the sun made it shine as if a million of diamond were embeded in it. He was finally free, here, in the smooth air, away from the cold rotten hell, he could witness the firework of fruity smells and dazzling colours he had been forbidden from for such a long time.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you created this atmosphere of re-birth, we can feel that this man has been missing all these things he couldn't have for a while (was he in prisonn away from his family or something?). There is this feeling of rediscovering something he used to know as if it were the first time.. The opposition with the place he used to be "cold rotten hell" is emphasized by the positive description of where he stands now. I think the setting really reflects the festive feeling of someone rrediscovering freedom. These "dazzling colours", "green stretch" and the "fruity smells" suggest nature, but a nature which is celebrating something. Even the wind and the sun, two untainable elements of nature are celebrating together. The overall feeling of freedom is really carried by the location: a valley. An open space far from the rest of the world. A perfect place to celebrate freedom.
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DeleteI really love your sentence and the way you described the englobing feeling of happiness and fresh air for the character! I totally agree with Garance on the fact that there is a feeling of rediscovery! I feel like there is also a feeling of " a simple pleasure becoming something symbolic of his freedom"! It appeals to the senses and i like that because we can easily link your description to feelings and situatins that WE already know . We feel like the entire description is a firework , i like that !
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ReplyDeleteI grabbed a raincoat and ran outside in a desperate search for fresh air. I headed towards the empty beach. The waves came crashing against the innocent sand, as did the heavy raindrops. I heard the rattling of the halyards clattering furiously against the masts. I inhaled the fresh ocean air while lighting illuminated the dark sky. I sat in the damp, cold sand, tears ran down my face as the thunder cried out endlessly.
ReplyDeleteHéloïse
The heavy grey clouds were reflecting their dull color on the pale walls and I was wondering how long I would be able to endure this. Sitting still on the bench, I felt as though the walls were closing in on me and all I could hear was the deafening sound of the rain hitting against the window and the persistent ticking of the clock.
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DeleteI can really feel the emotion you were trying to convey through imagery. There is an atmosphere of oppression, especially when you talk about the walls closing. Moreover, you really described the oppressing details of the everyday life (for instance the ticking of the clock). I found your imagery effective because it reflects elements of the daily routine but you also emphasized the context using color to describe the mood of the person described.
DeleteI think you description is really effective in the way that I could easily picture the scene and emotions of the narrator as I was reading it. You managed to use visual imagery through the different shades of grey and sound imagery as well with the "deafening sound". I love this oxymoron by the way, it feels oppressing and insists on the emptiness of the narrator who can't bear anything. Also by reading this description you clearly get the feeling of being alone and threatened by what surrounds you. The narrator is oppressed by the sounds, the colors and his whole environment, I think that the adjectives you used are really well chosen!
DeleteThe golden lily-flowers had spread everywhere. Outside, amidst the thunderstorm, the lightnings made them sparkle on the high top of the cathedral ; indoors, knights and lords were deliberately showing them off on their coat-of-arms, and the royal blue tapestries inside the nave were overlaid with them. They were also on the crown the Archbishop had given him a few minutes ago. The twelve peers of the realm had then swore him loyalty, and all the lords, ladies and churchmen present in the assembly were now reciting the usual Long Live The King. The echo went on and on along the stone walls, and eventually came back to the wooden throne he was sitting on, in the chorus of the cathedral ― he even felt his scepter quivering in his right hand. The bells began to ring from the top towers, divine hammers willing to crush the little lily-flowers, knocking with insistance on the roof. He stood up and beheld the hundreds of people acclaiming him. It wasn't pleasant. At all. He felt oppressed, reading in every look the wish of a soon death, feeling bile finding its way to his mouth. He was not born to rule, his head wasn't fit for the crown, he knew it from the start... But he knew as well that he was never given any choice.
ReplyDeleteShrouded by the dark night, the boat cleaved the profound sea. He was standing on the polished deck, impatiently staring at the blurred horizon, his heart pounding in his chest, ready to erupt at the sight of the most minuscule bit of land. How long? How long before the country of the free men appears in front of him? How long before Lady Liberty swathes his tired shoulders with the light veil of freedom? How long before the deep wounds of slavery are healed? He closed his tearful eyes and silently sung the ancient melody of another world. Dawn was sneaking behind the thick clouds, like the promise of another tomorrow.
ReplyDeletesing/sang/sung!
DeleteI think you did a great job here, the imagery is omnipresent and very well used. It helps us to understand the context a bit better and makes us really feel that atmosphere you created! I especially like the personification of the dawn! :)))
DeleteThis field used to be covered in a curious bright drew. In fact the blooming wind always took this bitter ice away from the golden wheat and my heart as soon as the sun rose in the mellow April sky. I remember the tingling caress of the deliberately buzzing butterfly on my velvet skin and how the air tasted of happy roses on those flourishing days, yes, spring was here.
ReplyDeleteShe hurried. The woods were as dark as her soul and she could finally breathe. Everyhing was dark and still but the abrasive atmosphere made her even more bemused.
ReplyDeleteIt's cold today, he was thinking; Too cold to handle it. Too cold to handle "them" ... While his foot were running under him, little cracks in the solid snowy ground, he begun to cry, slowly, following the rythme of the snowflakes falling of the sad clouds, spitting their despair on him, as a tornado of feelings burst out into him.
ReplyDeleteHis heart, which was a cold icy rock, slowly melted meanwhile an ocean of sadness started to devour his whole body, the cold air infiltrating his world.
It was definatly too cold today.
He couldn't stop thinking about how truly happy he was, his eyes were shinning brighter than the sun itself, sparkling as the sun beams at dawn, he was smiling at life and for once, he was not regretting his choices, even holding them up so that everyone could see that he became better. He could follow the wind and chase the river, he was finally free.
ReplyDeleteAs she breathed in, her nostril filled with the warm september air, and she thought that not even the leaves, floating and dancing in the air, were as gleeful as her. The sun was coming out from behind a flimsy cloud, and its beams embraced her. -Caroline
ReplyDeleteThe dark and shadowing atmosphere was progressively surrounding him. He saw the black tunnel in front of him which seemed to attract him and swallow him into its wide nightmarish throat...
ReplyDelete